20 years of Change: From Madrid's Heartache to Dublin's Embrace
20 years of Change: From Madrid's Heartache to Dublin's Embrace
The Day That Changed Everything: March 11, 2004
Hello there,
Today's post is a bit more personal than usual, serving as a tribute to my 20 years living abroad and how March 11 has been a pivotal date in my life.
Let me explain.
Take the plane, then the horror
March 11, 2004, marks one of the saddest moments in Spanish history. On this day, 192 people lost their lives in the worst terrorist attack in Spain, occurring in my hometown, Madrid.
Coincidentally, March 11, 2004, was also the day I left Spain to move to Ireland. This means, as of today, I've spent nearly half of my life outside my home country, a change I believe has been for the better.
With that said, every March 11 brings a mix of nostalgia, sadness, and anger as I reflect on this day. These feelings have deepened over the years, especially after a recent visit to Madrid.
I recall the anxiety of barely making it to the airport on time to catch my flight to Dublin.
I remember the excitement of arriving in a new city and country.
My first impressions of Dublin felt dreamlike as if I wasn't fully there. Learning about the Madrid attack while sitting in a pub, watching Sky News through a friend's translation, was shocking. None of us spoke English then - I arrived with a group of workmates - and in 2004, internet access on mobile phones wasn't as common as it is today; in fact, it was almost nonexistent.
The news brought an overwhelming sense of horror and anxiety as I tried to contact friends and family to ensure their safety.
I remember the tears and the feeling of utter powerlessness in my grief.
Every March 11, my thoughts go to those who died and their grieving families, the first responders, and everyone who showed solidarity on that tragic day. The spirit of love, empathy, and understanding shown by the people of Spain, particularly in Madrid, reinforces my belief that these values will always prevail, even in the darkest times.
Let this be a pledge to end all forms of terror, violence, and war.
Now and then
You can probably see the juxtaposition and contradiction of this thing called life.
I was extremely lucky to catch that plane that day; my flight was one of the few that left the Spanish airspace that morning. Now, I don’t believe in luck or destiny, but it sure feels that this event was a really close call.
It was also the day I set foot in a foreign country for the first time. I was leaving my country behind, hoping for greener pastures and opportunities.
It is important to highlight a few facts:
When I left Spain I only spoke one language.
Today, I speak Spanish, English, and Portuguese, and I’m making progress with Danish - although I admit, Danish is extremely hard for me to understand and learn, I wish that weren’t true, but it is.
Then, one can argue that you are reading this post based on my move to Ireland, otherwise Rebel Strokes would’ve never happened.
Before leaving Spain, my exposure was largely limited to my own culture. Despite its richness, it represents just a small part of the vast tapestry of global consciousness. My experience with art was shaped by prestigious Spanish institutions like El Prado, Reina Sofia, and Museo Thyssen Bornemisza, among others. While these museums house incredible collections, their focus naturally leans more towards Spanish art and artists.
Before moving to Ireland, my understanding of music was superficial at best; I couldn't grasp the lyrics' meaning and often just hummed along or sang the choruses.
This limitation extended to all forms of art and literature I was familiar with, all of which were in Spanish or translated into Spanish.
Similarly, every movie I'd watched was either in Spanish or dubbed. I still struggle to understand why modern societies don't embrace subtitles and the original audio in films and television, as dubbing detracts from the authenticity of the actors' performances—a discussion for another time.
Consequently, my exposure to art was deeply colored by language and cultural biases, leading to a constrained and simplistic view of the world.
My thinking was often binary—good/bad, left/right—lacking in nuance and filled with prejudice. Despite my naivety and inexperience, I arrogantly thought I knew everything and felt entitled to more from the world due to a challenging childhood. I was ignorant, yet unaware of it, walking a perilous path.
Overall, at age 23, I was profoundly affected by a deficient education system and a father caught in a cycle of self-destruction. These influences led me to believe I was incapable of achieving anything meaningful. I felt trapped in Madrid's inner city, convinced I was doomed to a life without progress or opportunity.
Unbeknownst to me, as it often happens, life had an expansive journey in store.
In the last two decades, I've travelled to 19 countries, mastered three new languages, and contributed to both multinational corporations and small startups. I've made homes in four different countries: Spain, Ireland, Portugal, and Denmark, engaging in a continuous journey of artistic creation—sometimes solo, other times in partnership with incredible collaborators (you know who you are).
My adventures have taken me to some of the most renowned museums and art centers globally. I've amassed an archive of over 50,000 photographs. Most importantly, along the way, I've had the fortune of marrying an extraordinary person, my soulmate. Together, we have a wonderful son who inspires me daily to be a better version of myself.
And yet, my inner critic—the little man who defends himself—believes I have achieved very little over the past 20 years. It seems trauma isn't so easily overcome, work in progress.
Next stop
Today, on March 11th, 2024, I aim to lay the foundation for a new chapter in my life, guided by an unwavering desire to create, learn, write, and engage with art and creativity.
In this era of AI and digital innovation, the potential for creation has never been greater. With technology levelling the playing field through algorithms that comprehend our natural language, everyone, regardless of their native tongue, is poised to achieve more.
Embracing a multidisciplinary approach to art - I remain a multipotentialite at heart -, eager to explore beyond the confines of photography, which I pursued upon moving to Ireland 20 years ago.
In the upcoming two decades, I intend to delve into every artistic discipline that sparks even the slightest interest. Here's a preliminary list, in no particular order, of the fields I plan to explore:
Painting
While I've dabbled in painting as a self-taught artist, I acknowledge there's much more for me to learn.
Creative Writing
This Substack serves as a platform for my explorations in long-form writing and poetry, which I intend to continue.
Music
My education unfortunately lacked a music component, a gap I've yet to fill. Now feels like the right time to dive in.
Filmmaking
Although I've experimented with filmmaking in small ways, I'm now eager to take a more serious step by creating a short documentary.
Creative Coding
Discovered during the COVID pandemic, this intriguing discipline is something I've been excited to try but haven't yet fully explored.
Pottery
Starting pottery this year has been a fulfilling venture, offering a unique way to engage my creativity and find flow.
Graphic Design
My experience with graphic design has been sporadic and informal. Despite the rise of AI in this field, I'm keen to deepen my skills.
Illustration
Always dreaming of bringing stories to life through illustrations, I now have a wonderful opportunity and motivation: to dedicate my efforts to my son.
Silk Print
Fashion hasn't been my focus, as evidenced by my consistent attire of T-shirts and jeans. However, I'm inspired to design my own line of T-shirts.
Analog Photography
After two decades of digital photography, I'm drawn to the origins of this art form, eager to experience the magic of the darkroom and the early days of photography.
VR Painting
Influenced by sci-fi classics like "Ready Player One" and "San Junipero," I believe VR painting will play a significant role in the future of art.
If you follow this journey, you'll witness my attempts to learn and grow, sharing both my successes and the (failures) lessons learned along the way.
As someone told me, “Putting your soul into your work and opening yourself up to the scrutiny of unknown critics requires courage, patience and a bit of “this is what I do” thought”.
I'm ready to take that leap.
In the words of two geniuses I deeply admire and respect:
“I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.” Anais Nin
“A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing.” George Bernard Shaw
A toast to the next 20 years, let the games begin, by any art necessary.